I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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