That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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