found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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