Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I met the friendliest cop last night
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Randomize
