Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
