I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
