Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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