She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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