somebody snuck up and got me drunk
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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