we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
