This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize