hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
This house was built for laser tag.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize