make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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