Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
