Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
