I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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