Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
