y did u give ur computer a hand job?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
