I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
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He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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