I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
