Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
