a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
