I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
