Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
