guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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