dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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