from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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