im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
