Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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