I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Are we still banned from the library?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
