Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
