Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize