Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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