you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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