did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
