Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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