why didn't you poke me back
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
my poor anus
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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