My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
