she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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