I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
