I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
