I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
