CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
