I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
