Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
