i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
