your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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