There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
