hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
