I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
