this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
