You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
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