Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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