Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry greenie hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(347): View more from New York

i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties

Fav 16 1320 798
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.

Fav 13 2356 4167
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.

Fav 16 1060 5116
share tweet
(954): View more from Florida

I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.

Fav 7 2656 1015
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup

Fav 22 1472 9327
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS

Fav 9 1858 860
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(907): View more from Alaska

She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music

Fav 18 3983 1013
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again

Fav 0 21 21
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(662): View more from Mississippi

I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??

(901): View more from Tennessee

This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said

Fav 0 54 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT