playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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