please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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