So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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