you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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