i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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