Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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