I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
