I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
