if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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