dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
