1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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