i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Your mouth is God's brothel.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
