Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
