Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
