Your mouth is God's brothel.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
you never un-have a 4some
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
