they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
