guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
