Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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