I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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